I hate smalltalk! I’d rather be silent than waste energy on smalltalk. Since I don’t follow the news, don’t watch sports, could care less about the lives of celebrities and don’t have the stomach for politics, I am not interested or able to participate in most party conversations. I also hate the “4 men from Yorkshire”* effect where conversations deteriorate into contests in misery and pain. So I asked myself: “What would I rather talk about? What gets me engaged with others?” As an antidote to smalltalk, I started writing and collecting questions that probe beyond our social masks. That allow us to share our humanity and life experiences. I picked subjects that are universal, yet at the same time, purely individual. I wrote them down on small pieces of paper, and took them with me to parties and social gatherings. I called it “Truth and Connection game”. Whenever I had the opportunity, I introduced the game in my social circles. It almost always transforms shallow smalltalk into meaningful conversations, beautiful connections and deeper understanding of one another. Since I started my travels 4 years ago, I carry the questions electronically and keep sharing the game all over the world. Almost always, people ask me to share the questions and many have contributed their own which makes me very happy! My current passion is spreading the culture of love and abundance. In the face of the current global fear, isolation and ensuing traumas, let’s create love, trust and healing, one connection at a time. I’d like to gift you this game and encourage you to gift it to others in the spirit of love and abundance. In this game, everyone is a winner! Now it’s called “Bigtalk!”
How to play Bigtalk!:
Group sits in a circular fashion. One person starts by picking a number between 1 and 100. Someone reads them the question corresponding to their chosen number. They get to address the question by answering it directly or expressing what the question brought up for them; thoughts, memories, feelings…etc. There’s no right or wrong answer. Each person gets to interpret the question as they see fit. When they’re done, the turn goes to the person to their left, or right (pick a direction and stick with it). Each player gets one pass and one delegation in the whole game, use them wisely!
Pass: “I’m not going to answer the question”.
Delegation: “I’m giving this question to someone else in the circle” and specify the recipient.
If you get a delegated question, it does not replace your turn.
The magic about this game, in my experience, is that if you go with your gut feeling when you’re choosing the number, without much thinking involved, you’ll be amazed by how perfect the question is for you! Try it and share your experience.
Optional modification (suitable for small groups or romantic partners):
Everyone answers the chosen question!
* “4 men from Yorkshire” is a hilarious Monty Python skit demonstrating how human conversations typically become a one-upmanship in misery.
Here are the questions. Enjoy!
#bigtalk #connection #love #abundance #game #trust #partygame #gettingreal #authentic #authenticity