Dear My Fear

Dear my Fear,
Our relationship hasn’t been the smoothest or the most amiable. You’re either controlling me, often paralyzing me, I’m ignoring you or following you then hating myself and your guts. Admittedly, sometimes you make me laugh with the ridiculous crazy thoughts you have. When you act up, you deprive us of living in, and fully enjoying the present moment. You’re always stuck in the past or running horrible scenarios of the future. Can we just rest in the present moment and enjoy? I’m tired of the painful dynamics and I want to make peace. Our disfuncional relationship is not healthy and I apologise for my share in it. I will stop blindly following you then hating you for it. I acknowledge your role in my life. I will stop pretending that you don’t exist. You’re too powerful to ignore.
I embrace you as part of me. You’re trying to keep me safe and alive. You have succeeded and I thank you for my wonderful life. You’re also my link to my ancestors who passed you down to me one generation after the next. You’re my history and my heritage. Your mere existence is proof that, at some point in the far or near past, you had saved one or more of my ancestors and therefore, you are directly responsible for my existence. Thank you! You’ve been working super hard to protect me, all my life. I want you to know that I am good now. You may retire and rest. I learnt to love all of me, including you and I’m safe.
I assure you that I will always remember and consider your words of caution. They’re etched in my brain. But you can let go of control because I am a loving being now and can take care of myself.
I love you and I release you.
Yours truly,

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