“You keep pushing me into the deep end of the pool”, my partner said half jokingly. “And you keep swimming”, I replied with a smile. Of all our adventures together, Senegal was the deepest pool. After traveling 20+ hours, he arrived at a place where he doesn’t speak the language, doesn’t know anyone, nothing is familiar and nothing works as expected. To add insult to injury, his luggage didn’t arrive with him. Neither of us expected our romantic getaway to turn into such an intense alternate reality immersion. It was one of those experiences that could make or break a relationship. We could’ve chosen to be tourists, but that’s not how I roll.
Senegal tried my patience, at first. Because of that, our communication improved and our relationship deepened. It pushed my boundaries and made me aware of ones I didn’t know I have. I became more self aware and assertive. It trashed my preconceived ideas of what works and what doesn’t. As a result, I learned new ways of doing things, became more resourceful and resilient.
Throughout the challenges, my partner was very patient, flexible, curious and loving. I often thought “he’s either totally in love with me, or secretly plotting for my cold blooded murder”. I’m still alive, so it must be love!
Travel is life on steroids! Things happen faster, deeper, more intensely and more frequently. The rule of life, and travel, is there are no rules. You constantly have to improvise, adapt and be creative. You also learn a lot more. Sometimes it’s like drinking from a fire hose.
While western communities are trying to live sustainably, struggling with undoing all the damage caused by excessive industrialization, Senegalese villages are still living in harmony with Nature. A very different system from what we’re used to. I think it’s better. Sadly, many believe it’s a bad thing.
When I was attached to my expectations, I was constantly feeling guilt, disappointment and frustration.
When I stopped worrying about my beloved’s experience, trusted that he can take care of himself and focused on my well-being and happiness in the here and now, we were both happy. I was able to give from a full cup, communicate authentically and be a better company. This provided a safe space for him to be more vulnerable and open. Which deepened our relationship.
We don’t live in the same place, not even on the same continent. He got to live “a month in the life of Hala”. Experiencing it first hand is completely different from hearing about it.
After a month in Senegal, he flew back to Costa Rica and I went to Cabo Verde. Cabo Verde is a tourist destination for Europeans escaping the cold winter and has all the tourist conveniences. Everyone speaks English. I put a local SIM card in my phone, it worked like a charm; no hiccups, no frustrating encounters with incompetent employees and no fiddling with settings. Credit cards are accepted everywhere. Electricity, WiFi and water services are reliable. When we talked on the phone, I said to my partner “we should have come to Cabo Verde instead of Senegal. It’s a much shallower pool. Would’ve been easier for you”. To which he replied: “I have no regrets whatsoever. I enjoyed the experience. There’s no one else in the whole world with whom I’d rather do this. Thank you!”
He keeps swimming…
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Unconditional Love 