Somewhere in the middle of nowhere, my body is convulsing, uncontrollably, on the floor of a bamboo structure in the jungle. My eyes are closed. I hear music; a hand twitches, a leg shakes, an arm shoots up in the air. That’s not what I expected when I decided to meet my friend Jenny in Palawan.
My online search for intentional communities in the Philippines came up with one result: Maia Earth in Palawan. I put it on my list. When I learnt Jenny was in the Philippines too, we agreed to meet! As fate would have it, she was at Maia Earth: 2 birds with one stone! I felt immediately welcome and included by the village founder Pi, who is also the founder of Innerdance. Unbeknownst to me, I landed in Innerdance world headquarters! So I jumped in.
My left hand then arm started shaking. There were tears. Lots of tears. Some laughter, followed by tears. No idea where they came from. Just sadness welling up. Tried to justify the tears, but the reasons were after the fact. Cried for my family, for my mom, for mother Earth, for the oceans. Then gave up trying to justify. Allowed the tears to flow, and the sadness to swell up and wash out. Releasing sadness. Lots of sadness. Then there was stillness… and relief. The words “I’m tired” resonated with my sadness and magnified it. I felt like I want to put down my burdens and rest. There was darkness. No colors, just black. Sometimes I would see the face of an angry animal, like a wolf, or a bear. I wasn’t afraid. I felt calm but challenged. Then more tears. Then stillness and calm again.
It always starts with my left hand, twitching, shaking, moving randomly, then other body parts, typically the right hand, start moving on their own in random ways. Lots of convulsions, twitching and shaking. Moaning. Tears. The image of war planes in the sky and the feeling of fear. Then stillness. Being awake and aware the whole time is strange because I’m not controlling my body. It just takes off on its own journey. Can’t predict where, what or when. I simply surrender and witness. Like it’s someone else’s body but I’m Inside It.
Release then stillness and rest. I felt very peaceful, relaxed and happy. Floating sensations. One with the universe feelings. Calmness and lightness.
Weird music. Little harmony, more distortions. Twitching. No emotions. No crying or joy. Just twitching and orgasmic contractions, mostly hands and feet. Innerdance music mimics our circadian rhythms. It simulates dream states while being awake.
Laughter, tears, stillness, movement, images, ebbs and flows of thoughts and emotions. I’m awake and fully aware, yet my body has a mind of its own. Then the music stops. I open my eyes. The process, or journey is over.
I was not doing weed, Ayahuasca, mushrooms, acid or any psychedelics, not even chocolate. We were tripping on my drug of choice; music! Sometimes there were words, but only sound waves. We were high on sounds! Welcome to Innerdance!
#innerdance #maiaearthvillage #philippines #unconditionallove #westandinlove #travel #ecocommunities