Your Best “BET”!

“When you point a finger at someone, 3 fingers are pointing back at you”. When I find myself judging someone or something, I think of the 3 fingers: B.E.T; Body, Emotions and Thoughts. Let me explain…
At the root of every judgement, there is fear or scarcity. Here’s my checklist to capture the source of my judgemental attitudes. I ask myself “What is missing?”. The pinky: on the Body level (B). How is my body feeling? What does it need? Do I need food/drink/rest/sex/temperature change/touch/movement/toilet break…etc? You’ll be amazed how much negativity disappears after a good nap, let alone a good orgasm! If my body’s needs are met and I’m still in contraction mode, I go to the ring finger: Emotions (E). How am I feeling? What emotional needs are not being met? Do I need company? Do I need my space? Do I feel safe?…etc. Then I move to that most problematic of all: the middle finger: I examine my Thoughts (T). Is the judgement mine or inherited? Does it stem from the present or the past? What fear/unmet desire is underneath the judgement? Am I envious? What lesson can this fear teach me about myself? Can I shift fear and scarcity to love and abundance?
Sometimes I’m not exactly sure, so I write, meditate or move. Usually, something shifts. The most important thing is not to identify with the negative judgement as “The Truth”. It is, like everything, fleeting. The more energy we give it, the more it lingers. Also, ignoring, suppressing, numbing or pretending it doesn’t exist only makes fear stronger. If we simply witness, listen and let go, it passes. And we’re left … a little older, a little wiser and a lot happier! As the Portuguese song says: “Você não sabe o quanto caminhei para chegar aqui.” (You don’t know how much I walked to arrive here). So, don’t judge.


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